Category Archives: Uncategorized

Insecure somewhere…

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So the Devil Wears Prada… well thats what I just learnt in the last hour and a half…

I start in a job…

I like it..

I work hard…

Did I mention I had people I loved and People who loved me?

So back to working hard…

and very hard…

And one day I tell someone that my personal life is hanging by the thread, and what I am told is, “Congratulations, you are doing great at work!!!”

And what next?

Well… the day you think you have lost your personal life, congratulations, its time for a promotion…
So I keep doing great at work…

Oh, yes and there are people I love and people who love me… but then what do I do… work needs attention… I just CAN’T do anything about it… doesn’t matter if that attention to work means no attention to the people who now are not getting any time… but I just CAN’t Do anything…

so I move on.. they move on…

and one harsh reality and I am back to normal… back to the people I love and people who love are back…

But then, that was the movie… It was a movie that was supposed to end with happiness all around…

I guess I am just insecure about myself, that because I treat work as something that pays my rent and is a necessary evil and having said that I still manage to do pretty well there (God Bless) and put in a lot of soul in it… but at the same time have something else that I have a larger part of my heart in… I might grow up to be an insignificant person for people who today love me and want to stand by me, but will probably move too ahead and away from me while they were working their way higher up the ladder…

I don’t want a day in my life when the trade-offs become too big to handle….

Or maybe I should not be watching movies alone 🙂 they make me think..

or maybe I should take a nap… its been almost 24 hours that I have not slept…

Good Morning Life… Good to know you more !!!

Happy SWEET New Year….

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Whats the best way to start a new year in firang land?

Well… don’t think about it much…

the best way to start a new year in Firang Land is to have देसी घी के मोतीचूर के लड्डू from कन्वार्जी in चांदनी चौक, पुरानी दिल्ली

Yes..I just had two from the kg pack that I have to enjoy in the coming days…

Thank you Amit for this… The new year could not get better than this… thanks bro…

One Flew…

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“I don’t know what freedom is about…”

I kept repeating this line to myself for atleast 5 minutes before I started writing this…

Is freedom, the freedom to speak?
or to act?
or to think?

or to think and speak?

or to think and act?

or to have the liberty to speak and act the way we want?

or to just be calm about whats happening?


Or is it about getting away from everything once in a while, spend a couple of days in silence with yourself and then get back to this noisy world where freedom is just a word…

Wondering what triggered this thought? I am wondering too !!!

Was Randle McMurphy ( Jack Nicolson as we know him) wrong in doing what he did?

Should the Chief have left him like he was after the lobotomy operations?

Or did the chief do the right thing before he escaped?

It takes guts to make a movie like “One Flew Over Cuckoo’s Nest” and I must admit that it did bring me closer to a lot of questions I would like to get answers for sometime in my life…

If you have not seen the movie yet, see it… Don’t read about it on IMDB or Wiki… you would know what happened in the end… Get a CD or a DVD… watch this movie… its brilliant… I should use a better word, but I can’t think of any right now…

If you have read this post, do make an honest attempt to watch the movie… and tell me what you think !!!

One of the nicest things that has happened to me on this UK trip is movies like Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump etc… thanks Lalit for the lovely idea… I owe you one…

CTRL Zee

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Do heartburns make you sweat?

Why the hell and I sweating like I am in hell tonight?

Will try to sleep with some fever, a fukked up throat, and some shattered dreams tonight, if at all I can manage some sleep…

I thought its the quilt… its away…

The room heating… its off…

and I am still like I am in hell… I think I should open the damn window !!!

Do I sound angry? Yes I am!!! On/With/For/Because of Does not matter… it never did !!! To feel better, all it takes is a good sleep, the alarm with one of your favorite songs (which I changed to, a while back) and hoping that tomorrow there is some sunshine!!!

God Uncle, you better be on my side, for I need you !!!

Amen !!!

p.s. Sorry if you feel like something to say about this and find the comments disabled… I had to write this and this page is all I got…

On second thoughts… I don’t want to stop anyone from saying what they want… This is a public page… I gotta write about what I feel… Anyone can write about what they feel about what I feel 🙂 I think I am feeling better after I wrote all that random stuff above… nice !!!

What Completes?

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A friend asked me a while ago, Prashant what completes you? and I could not answer that.. there is so much… too much of space around that needs to be filled !!!

Small question, big answer…

It however helped a few words come out and fill some empty space.. here they are.. enjoy 🙂 and feel free to add…

पहाड़ की चोटी

नदी का किनारा
चुप चुप बैठा था
तभी साला किसी ने पत्थर मारा
देखा तो मेरा बॉस था
न मुझे कुछ होश था
याद आया ईमेल नहीं करी …
ख़ुशी की मछली तभी उस नदी मे मरी
मैं वापस काम पर
आगे बदने के नाम पर
अभी तक काम कर रह हूँ
एक एक दिन करके जीवन से गुज़र रहा हूँ
और ख़ुशी की मछली वही किनारे पर रह गई
जितनी तस्सली दिल मे थी वो कहीं उस गहरे पानी की धारा मे बह गयी

I Make Time!!!

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Its been a nice weekend this one… I am at Anil’s place and having food which is home food… Chawal dal dahi !!! its nice… and Soumitro invited us (Well a forced invitation it was) and treated us to some amazing roasted potatoes, bell peppers, some nice music followed by Naan, Spicey Potatoes, Lovely Baingan, and Egg Curry !!! I am stuff like anything right now, and a 30 minute walk in the nice cold weather was just worth it after a nice tummy and heart filling dinner… God Bless Soumitro and his wife who did a great job with the dinner !!!

While walking towards Soumitro’s place, Anil and me got into an interesting discussion, well all the discussions were interesting but I particularly remember this one because I have been hearing something around it for a while now from a few people I know…

Anil said that he wants to play cricket or be associated with any club/team that places and get an opportunity to bowl or bat or just be there on the field sometime… My question, and a very prompt one, bringing him back from that lush green field that he had mentally wandered to was, “Do You have time for all that?”

His simple answer was, “I would make time for it.”

I was forced to think when we say we have been too busy or we just did not make time for what we wanted to or we just did not want to make time or we did not find a reason why we could make time…

I somehow don’t really believe when someone tells me that they could not take time out.. I guess its not about taking time out, its either making it or stealing it from the world for things that are yours…

I make time for my blog and my stills… and a few people who are in my thoughts, ma pa a few friends…
I am fortunate to know a few friends who work for at least 12 hours a day in and out, and still make time for things they want, people they want…
People find me crazy, and will probably think that I am simple plain lucky when I tell them that starting september’05, I have traveled out of Delhi every single month, the fototrip links on my page show that just right… Except March’07 when I shifted bases to Chandigarh for work… EVERY OTHER month I could find time to travel and take pictures… and I am bloddy well proud of it for myself !!!

And I know of a lot of people who love to say that they did not get time or a chance to do something…

I feel that its not really about how much time we got, its about how much WE wanted time for it… Wanting or not wanting to do something comes first, and then time for it or excuses for “not it”.

The Coin’d Me…

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I am listening to Madhushala right now and every single time I hear it, I like it more… not sure if its the music that calms me down, or its one of my favorite singers Manna Dey’s voice or its the words… I guess this poem is much more than I hear !!!

This is how even people are, much more than we can hear or see… notice closely and you might just find something new about someone who know, and ditto is with me… I have been noticing myself for a while and needless to say I have realized more about myself in the last few years than the rest of them and I can only surprise myself over how I am and what I am…

I have been good, I have been bad… People have been with me for a long time, and people have written me off completely… People have loved me and then hated me to the core, people have not liked me and then liked me too… All of this happening when I was trying to know myself more, and liking it or not liking it depending on the discovery.

I am the coin, with both its sides together… and I am flipping, at times just enjoying the flip and hoping for myself to fall in safe hands at others !!!

End of the Week’end

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Fukk’ed up noodles, going down the drain…

Some rice with curd, helped ease the pain…

The Shawshank Redemption and Ned Kelly on the screen…

Friday’s over and Saturday comes clean…

A lazy day on the couch, a call home, no bath and internet…

Saturday is when I get my food and keep it where it should be kept…

Finished the dinner and about to rest…

Abhi calls and asks me to come over, the sub-zero temprature outside is ON for a test…

I miss a train, and the next one’s late…

Cold winds, empty platform, nothing to do for 40 minutes… oh c’mon thats not fate !

OK !!! enough!!! That’s IT for the poetic dude !!!

This is till Saturday night… Sunday… NOTHING done… too good… waking up at 1100 hrs, saw three episodes of The Great Indian Laughter Challange back to back and laughed my ass out a number of times in a long time… loved watching it…


Evening just walked around, went to a nice restaurant in Kensington, owned by Abhishek’s friend Shahid, had amazing masala tea after a nice dinner… and took the last train home…

Walking back home at midnight on a footpath which is slippery because of frost on it was fun… even jumped and hopped around on my way… it was fun being with myself…

I think I saw a FOX as well on my way near my house… it was not a DOG, it was not a cat… I don’t know of any other animals around…

Should go off to sleep now.. have a long week ahead and a nice break next week when I go snow hunting up north in this island…

Hope the coming week is blessed !!! Happy English Diwali 🙂

Review : Smorty

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There came Internet, and then came blogs and with blogs came various flavors right from personal blogs to commercial ones, from pages where people pour their heart out to pages where people make money… during all this the concept of online advertising added a flavor to the internet by having advertisements over these blogs. Its a win win situation where the blogger would get paid for blogging, and companies would advertise on blogs. Sites like Smorty help bridge the gap between the advertisers and the bloggers by making available opportunities to earn money through blogging… Text entries as posts which link back to the companies websites or relevant sections earn money for the bloggers. Smorty has a very easy to use interface where you see the opportunities that you qualify for and the details along with the money on offer, all you need to do is accept an opportunity, take care of the links and text mentioned in the details, and submit your post. Once approved you get your money. You also get emails about the relevant opportunities.

Overall something worth have a look at, and helps you get things with are worth some $$$$$s 🙂

Looking in the Mirror…

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I am wondering how easy is it for someone to

Set an expectation
Forget all about it at his/her own convenience
Get Angry when someone reminds him/her of it
Making sure that the other person feels like (s)he has done a mistake by speaking his/her mind
Coming back and almost laughing at him/her, while justifying what was done with proper and valid artifacts

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I don’t call a lot of people friends… I don’t like to… because I know I cannot do justice to that term… its an underrated word, for all I know… So I have a few friends, and a lot of people I know, and some are somewhere between the I know and are friends area…

When I call someone a friend, it basically adds a whole lot of responsibility on me to ensure that I intentionally or otherwise don’t do things which would hurt them…

Not that I can always prevent myself from doing such things, but I, from my past, know that I would be genuinely sorry for hurting anyone of the people I call friends…
And I do make it a point to make it up to them either by saying sorry and meaning it, or by doing something that would help me make it up to them…

I would not like to first hurt a friend, and then at the next opportunity go back and justify what i did… If I ever did that, I shouldn’t have done that… I know it feels bad when first you are hurt and then made fun of…

I am sorry…

Seeing with my eyes closed !!!

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Have some nice lyrics that make sense, add a nice folk flow with music in it, garnish it with a dhol, dholak, tabla, harmonium, a few more simple instruments.. and what you have is the song that I mention below…

I had heard it sometime back on TV and then forgot about it completely before a friend mentioned it to me generally today and i downloaded it….

Now these are my options:

1. Close my eyes, listen to this song and think about the amazing street plays that I used to be a part of in one for or the other, scripting, direction or just acting… this has so much of that sing together feeling with a message…

2. Close my eyes, listen to this song, and think about how it would be dance to this number… what free flow of music this song is.. and I can effortlessly think of enjoying my dance on it…

3. Close my eyes, and just listen to this song… like I have been doing for a while now…

4. Keep my eyes open for a change, and read the lyrics while the song is playing…

Ever wondered why we usually like to close our eyes when we are really enjoying something… is it a way to disconnect from the actual visuals and have a visual that we want to see in our brain? How do we see what are we thinking of? Is this the eyes that see it? Does a movie play on the eye lids?

Its strange how my eyes can see whats running up in the brain !!! God Uncle, you are great !!!

Enjoy the lyrics below… and if possible do listen to this song… and sing along too… if possible write the lyrics down… and sing-a-long loud together with friends… I can assure this is an awesome song to enjoy with friends !!!

क्यूँ खोये खोये चाँद की फिराक मे तलाश मे उदास है दिल
क्यूँ अपने आप से खफा खफा ज़रा ज़रा सा नाराज़ है दिल

यह मंजिली भी खुद ही तै करें
यह फासले भी खुद ही तै करें
क्यूँ तो रास्तों पे फिर सेहेम सेहेम संभल संभल के चलता है यह दिल

क्यूँ खोये खोये चंद की फिराक मे तलाश मे उदास है दिल

ज़िंदगी सवालो के जवाब ढूँढने चली
जवाब मे सवालों की एक लंबी सी लड़ी मिली
सावल ही सावल है सूझती नही गली
की आज हाथ थाम लो एक हाथ की कमी खली

Radhe Radhe…

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Arobindo called me and this is how the conversation went

Aro: I have something very serious to talk about!!

Me : Kya ho gaya?

Aro : I am thinking, what happened to Radha?

(What the fkk, what happened to my car)

Aro continues : Not your car idiot…(No points for guessing that the first thing I think about when I hear the word Radha is my car) the Radha Radha… the Krishna Radha, Radha…

Me : What about her?

Aro : What happened to her?

Me : What do you mean what happened to her?

Aro : Where did she go after Gokul? Do you know?

Me : She never told me where she was going ! How the hell am I supposed to know?

Aro : But there has to be a mention somewhere? She was with Krishna, and we all know what he was upto throughout his life… what happened to her?

Me : Oh I remember, she got married to someone else.. and used to stay away from her husband and all…

Aro : Really?

Me : Nope.. I think that was Meera.. I don’t know.. maybe she transmorgified or something herself into my car and is with me now….

Aro : Right, but what happened she broke up or whatever with Krishna…

Me : I don’t know.. maybe she left or something… maybe she was a potential threat to Krishna and he hid her somewhere to save the world… but this needs an investigation… call Papa, he would know for sure…

Aro : Krishna would not do anything for the world and not speak about it… everything that he has done was properly broadcasted… any act done to do good to the world cannot be hidden.. there has to be something else..

Me : I guess so.. find out… call home.. and its their marriage anniversary today..

(Laughter from the other side)

Me : Not Radha Krishna’s idiot, mom dad’s… make sure you call them and wish them too…

Aro : Ya i know 😀 hehehe… i will call.. send me the numbers again will you?

Me : Roger that…

Aro: Chal tata..

Me : Ok Bye…

This is exactly how the conversation would have went if I was in India or on Mars for that matter… its amazing how a few things don’t change… I am blessed !!!