did not expect this day to end at this kinda note…

i really miss neha… after she has left for paris … i find it so tough to talk to anyone about whats really happening inside ma’ mind now….

there is no one who says.. nai nai anymore…
there is no one who tells me.. aise maje nai aate na…
and there is no one who will stand in front of my and make me realise where i went wrong in that day where i think everything went just right…

i kept writing emails at a regular interval for a few weeks after she was gone.. and got some replies too.. and then the frequency reduced.. and its almost nill now….

i guess the last i wrote was about the fotographs that i clicked on the rafting trip.. and then not much… but in the the brief email convo that we had last week.. seems that my feelings.. which were a mix of sadness.. and anger…came out kinda hard and she is feeling bad about me complaining…

she had left saying that i better keep writing to her regularly or else she will crib and get angry… and here it was the opposite… i got angry and i was cribbing…why…. one simply complicated reason.. expectations… i was expecting that once she settles down in paris she would have a better internet connection and would be able to write more often then not… and failed to realise that because her project would be starting she wouldbe working reeeeeeally hard on that which she is…

well whatever be the reason… i am not getting those small happy one liners that would do me good.. that would keep me happy… i am being selfish here.. i know…

i think this blogging thing is not doing much good here… coz she knows whats happening here… and i do not have a clue about what my dearest friend is doing…

missing her bad today 🙁