Thanks to Neha Issar, one of the very two email friends I have.. i came across a completely different class of the Indian Women.. something that i always knew was around.. but was never fortunate enough to be a friend of one or even know one of those.. but Neha… she literally opened my eyes and introduced me to a new world ( atleast for me) and I can never thank her enough for this….

What follows is a very long email which she wrote.. but every word is worth reading and makes a lot of sense… no point wasting this in my mail box.. its real worth would be when whoever reads this blog reads thru that email… Thanks Neha.. and i am sorry again…

Hi Prashant,

let me start with the first thing that is on my mind right now…ur

discussion or argument or whatever regarding the maturity issue.. While I do agree with you on some points i was taken aback by you thinking

and stating…”if the gals are more mature then why are they not talking

about career and slogging to reach somewhere.. ” who told u they are not

talking about careers???? I am surprised in this age you are still able to

make this statement..and I was thinking why is it difficult for my old

relatives and aged aunties and uncles to digest that at 23 i am not thinking

of marriage but ready to commit about 5 years for my PhD!!!!!! I had no idea

people my age also have this notion that an Indian girl does not spend a

pinch of time and effort thinking and worrying about her future in terms of

career!!!!.And believe you me I can not be called and exception because I

know a dozen more girls who are even more ambitious than I am and they are

like good looking girls!!(just to rule out a possible theory that brainy

girls may not have much beauty and so they have to think of careeer coz

they are conventional!!)..See about maturity ..I don kno what can be termed

as a “mature” thought?? It is a relative term I think …maturity comes with

circumstances and not age…for e.g the eldest child generally is more

mature,responsible…a child who has lost his father when young grows up to

be more responsible and mature earlier in life …so on and so forth..there

are many such examples that I cite..but then this is also a universally

acknowledged fact that women..girls in general are more mature…coz they

are meant to be so u see…even a male ur age if ever decides to settle down

would essentially look for this quality ..would want the girl to be mature

enough to.. or, shall I say it in your words…” hoping that the girl

understands that job would take priority for sometime…” at the same time

it is ironic that the same indian metropolitan male will not understand when

maybe the woman has to spend time on kids..household..inlaws…other

chores..and the romance fizzles out ..so your average metropolitan male

looks for a mature woman but is not completely sure whether he would be able

to demonstrate the same level of maturity..so maybe thats why women consider

themselves to be more mature than men..afterall they were meant to be so as

i said..to be the wives..who cook..clean..wash….keep inlaws happy..keep

husband happy ..as also the mother who bears and raises kids..worries about

girls marriage ..son’s job/career….etc .etc.. it was so convinient for you

to state or rather assume that women/girls don’t slog for a career knowing

somewhere ( i am sure) that u r so wrong..but even if u were right well did

u ever question why men are never even expected to maybe plan the days menu

for lunch ..dinner..decide what dal to cook…worry that children ..husband

will not have clean clothes to wear if she dos’nt wash the big heap of

laundry even on a Sunday..i mean there are so many things an average Indian

male does not even think of thinking that he may have to do if ther were no

mother ..sister..wife to do those !!but u know a women do earn bread at

times..she does file incometax returns….she does drive kids to school…she

does arrange for an electrician..plumber..i mean males today in some

households are not totally indispensable …this is not to say that women

are…they complement..u see but to put it in few words..women ..since they

have to assume multiple roles become exposed to numerous and varied social

/emotional and professional pressures and so they reach a level of maturity

faster..easily..just as if u are exposed to numerous strains of a disease

causing microorganism u develop immunity faster …or just as cockroaches have

been exposed to different poisonous chemicals (diff brands of pest control

sprays etc..) they are now not killed by them any longer ..immune to them…so

they have developed a more “mature” immune system!!!(hehehehe..i am sorry

this was quite weird an example I know)..so its just this factor to a major

extent… circumstances ..and thus in the socio economic set up that we live

in it is quite obvious that the women will be more mature at times….men

may be too..but..

Anyways we can discuss endlessly on this topic I think. quite thought

provoking..

yaa and regarding where I am. ..well I must say Prashant either u

underestimate ur country too much or the female population of your

country!! There are almost as many women today in India doing research and

science as men…and it is very much possible to hear of a girl in India who’s

done her MS in biotech and going to do PhD ..of course the avenues are not

as developed here yet ..so u may find more prospects abroad but it is just a

matter of time I think..I am very much in India..right now..did my post grad

here only…however am now going to start my research work in Paris..i will

leave for Germany in Feb..for a conference and workshop and subsequently for

Paris..its basically Malaria research..i don kno if u have heard of

EMBL..European Molecular Biology Lab..my PhD will be conferred form there

and I will be based in the Pasteur Institute Paris..this is the same where

Louis Pasteur worked..the person who developed vaccination .first against

rabies…and following whose principle of Pasteurization we all boil the

milk in our houses before refrigerating it!!!!

my reaction.. i do not underestimate my country or the women in my country at all.. but I acted like a toad in the well and did not realise there is more to the world and women then i knew… thanks again for helping me out..